Girl, Wash Your Face: How to Live Your Best Life!

New Year, New Commitments!

Happy Wednesday bookworms! I hope everyone is having a great start to their new year! I wanted to jumpstart my new year by reading this awesome book, Girl, Wash Your Face x Rachel Hollis! I heard about this book via social media as one of my readers suggested it for this month's book club read, and I couldn't put it down! I love to travel, and during my recent trip to New Orleans, this was THE book to read! I do find it surprising that I have dived into more self-help books, because at one point, I would always say, "Why do I need to read a book on how to live my best life, when I can do that on my own?", but you come to realize that it's more than that. It allows you to find your way and remind you that you don't have to have it altogether at 25 or even 35. As long as you're HAPPY, that's all that matters. THAT is living your best life! This book dives directly into that. If you haven't read this book, it talks about the twenty lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively, lies we’ve told ourselves so often we don’t even hear them anymore. Sounds familiar? Through her painful honesty and fearless humor, Rachel unpacks and looks into the falsehoods that once left her feeling overwhelmed and unworthy, and reveals the specific practical strategies that helped her move past them. This is where her amazing tips come in at the end of each chapter that I love! Through my review, I want to also share my favorite chapters and takeaways that I found from reading this book that I hope you all enjoy, so let's get to it!

​First of all, I believe that EVERY woman should read this book. We have all been in a place of uncertainty or the "What am I doing? I should be farther along by now" phase. We have all questioned ourselves and our purpose at least once, and we have all made mistakes! What I love about this book is that it is real. It's raw, and it peels back emotional layers! Every chapter had its own meaning. Each chapter gave new insights into the lessons Rachel learned on her journey to become an employee, wife, mother, business owner, author, and social media lifestyle artist. She shares the many disappointments and pains along the path to success. She shares her flaws, mistakes, and “wish I could do-overs”. She shares intimate details about her siblings, marriage, children, and parents. She discusses the business she created and her transformation into a social media lifestyle blogger. She shares her passion for life and the joy of living. She reminds us the importance of happiness, and to not merely just exist, but to LIVE. LIVE with purpose! Here are some of my favorite chapters of the lies that I used to tell myself and how I overcame them:

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Lie #1: Something Else Will Make Me Happy...

This chapter begins by stating the first lie that Rachel had to confront, that is, ‘something else will make me happy’ (Hollis, 2018). Rachel lived a life full of challenges that denied her the opportunity to be happy but found comfort in a misconception that when she grew up, she would find something, or some other life that will make her happy. She narrates several struggles in life that made her unhappy both as a child, and as a grown up. For example, she wet her pants while playing with friends, and had to douse herself with a bottle of water so that her friends could not know what happened (Hollis, 2018).

This simple act made her hate herself because she had not accepted the person she was. She also grew up in a family with challenges characterized by cries, and fights (Hollis, 2018), an environment that could traumatise a child. Hollis (2018) states that “father handled stress with anger while mother handled stress by going to bed for weeks at a time”. This then means that there was no environment of peace, and sobriety but a traumatic environment that was not conducive for the development of a child. The demise of her brother (who committed suicide) further provided challenge, and compounded her problems.  Based on the photographs she posts on social media with her husband, however, people see her as a person leading a relatively better life (Hollis, 2018).

K's Girl, Get Yo Life Tips & Tricks:

1. Stop Comparing Yourself: Yes sis! Stop comparing yourself! You are a unique and beautiful spirit that cannot be duplicated, so stop comparing your life to the next woman's. This was always really hard for me, especially as a writer! It is super hard not to compare yourself to others especially brands that are really successful, but you can't compare your work to theirs. Each writer is different with different writing styles, and you must own your own! I had to stop not only comparing myself, but as Rachel puts it, I had to stop comparing myself to whomever I thought I was supposed to be. Stop being what people "expect" of you, and focus on simply being the BEST you, that's it. 
2. Positive Vibes Only: Let those toxic people go! You know what they say, "You are who you hang around." Are the people that you surround yourself with adding to your life in any way? Are they challenging you to think outside the box? Are they your biggest cheerleaders, supporting your goals and dreams? Are they someone that you admire? Ask yourself this! If you have to question any of these statements, release that toxic energy. As Rachel says, "If you find yourself in a slump or feel as though you're living in a negative space, take a good  hard look at who and what you see every day." BOOM.
3. Do What Makes YOU Happy: Happiness is key. As a writer, I had to stop questioning myself and my purpose, and ask myself, "Is what I'm doing bringing me joy?" I had to stop thinking of blogging as a numbers game, and really enjoy the freelancing! That's super important, and it shows in not just your writing, but your everyday life as well. Do more things that feed your spirit. Whether that is long walks after work with your significant other, going to bed early, quieting your mind through meditation, or just breaking away from social media for a couple of hours, do it! You are the author of your story. Choose how you tell it!

Lie #2: I'll Start Tomorrow...

Chapter two talks about how one can honor promises he/she makes to himself/herself, thus being able to stop a habit, and start a new one. The chapter begins by stating the second lie that Rachel believed, that is, ‘I will start tomorrow’. We have ALL been there! She proceeds to give examples, and scenarios (of both herself, and her friends) of struggles with keeping one’s own promise, as a result of believing the lie. For example, she narrates how she started, and failed to continue with several programs including plans to attend gym, marathon, and walking to work (Hollis, 2018). Like Rachel, many women also start such plans with good intentions, but find it difficult to continue because they find it normal to dishonor the promises they make to themselves. While one may want to honor the promises they make to themselves, they find the urge to break the promises irresistible. The distractions in life are among the factors that create the urge of reverting to old habits thus abandoning a promise such as never to drink diet coke again. Rachel (2018) gives an example of a woman who promises herself not to take a certain meal but goes ahead to take it on her child’s birthday. The child’s birthday, therefore, becomes the distraction.

K's Girl, Get Yo Life Tips & Tricks: 

1. Start Small: ​Okay yes I have a hard time with going to the gym too, but we have to start with small victories! Did you drink more water than you did yesterday? Did you run that extra mile? Did you push yourself to higher heights? That's what's most important! Cutting out a habit is hard, but adding a new healthy habit gets easier I promise! Don't feel like you have to do it all in one day. Focus on creating those small goals and achieve those! Your body will thank you for it. 
2. Broken Commitments: I never knew how big this was until I watched Iyanla Fix My Life: Braxton Edition. Broken commitments are so common these days, that we have to get a hold of them. We easily jump on board with anything that sounds good, not thinking about the commitment and whether it is attainable. Fasting? SURE. Going out to dinner with the in-laws? OF COURSE. Baby-sitting little Ray-Ray? No problem. We know that these things are important and what we should be doing, but this isn't always real. Think about your yes. Will you actually be able to do it? Commit to only those things you know you can accomplish because they are extremely important to you. That's it. Saying NO is okay. 
3. Fact Checkin Yourself: Be honest with yourself! If you are consistently blowing something or someone off, address it! I am the biggest flaker ever, and I have acknowledged that! I know that I have to really think about whether I really want to do the things that are asked of me. I'm getting old you guys! Naps are important, and when it's cold, I love to cuddle up and stay in! These are all of my excuses that I have recognized, addressed, and come to terms with. Through this, I have learned the power of NO. Once again, saying no is okay and I have accepted that. 

Lie #3: NO Is The Final Answer (HA!)

In chapter six, Rachel adequately provides eye-opening information on how to react once one faces an element of rejection. In her understanding, Rachel believes that one is gifted the ability to determine what to accept, and reject, and this is the reason sometimes she refuses to be a public speaker, or when faced with rejection she refuses to accept, and looks for other alternatives to address the issue (Hollis). In essence, the writer aims to share the perspective that even though ‘yes’ is normally considered as the easiest answer, by learning how to say ‘no’ one is in a better position to achieve the greater things in life.

This chapter aims to reiterate that when one faces a rejection, it is upon the individual to dictate whether he will lose hope, or whether he will find other mechanisms of challenging the issue. From her assertions, audacity is one of the major components which enhance the productivity of a given individual. This implies that when one has the courage to face rejection from different areas, then one is able to grow through the pressure, and achieve the greater things in life. For instance, she shares a lot about when her book was rejected by various publishers but she did not give up but instead continued to work harder.

K's Get Yo Life Tips & Tricks:

1. NO Is Not The End: Do you know how many no's that I have endured throughout my journey of blogging? Do you know how many times authors have ignored me when I have asked to set up an interview to be featured? DOZENS. I didn't let that stop me from achieving my goals and dreams! When one door closes, another one will open always! For me, the NO's fueled me! They allowed me to work harder and push more to turn those No's into Yes. The big takeaway is don't let people telling you no be your deciding factor and your end game. Remember your purpose! Follow your dreams!
2. Revisit Your Expectations: Sometimes when people hear this they think, "Oh so I need to quit?!" NO! Don't quit! Just revisit your expectations. Now when people tell you no, don't go harassing them until they give you the answer that you want. That is not what I'm saying. As Rachel says, "Use the no you hear as an indication that you should try an alternative route." This is okay and so true!
3. Keeping Your Goals in Plain Sight: I know this is easier said than done, but remember why you are doing what you're doing! We all know it's easier to focus on your goals when you're pumped up or excited about your new project, but it's when life gets in the way that it becomes harder. What I love to do to remind myself of my goals is to write them down! Create a vision board! If you are a visual learner like me, this is perfect! Tape sticky notes on your door or your mirror! Do anything that will help you stay on track and keep your visions clear! If you're stuck, think, "What would Beyonce do?" :)